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SoonerJurist-Sunday Morning Reflections

SoonerJurist

Gold Member
May 8, 2023
35
84
18
Good Morning Sooners:

Rare poster, but some random thoughts after a hard fought victory:

1. To the Dude behind me to the right. I understand that whistling loud is your only superpower. When you were 12 years old your friends admired your ability to whistle at a volume that led to eye bleeds...get it and applaud it. But now that you are over 50 and around people who have all their hair or have lost it, when you whistle and people stare at you it is not out of admiration, but out of annoyance. FYI...in a stadium of 85K, the opposing quarterback cannot hear you whistle no matter how often you do it. Just a good "Boomer" or "Sooner" will do or just a some form of guttural yell like they did in Braveheart...My otolaryngologist thanks you though.
2. Dear Colton Boomer...is that your real name? If it is...WTH are you doing playing for UCF where "Boomer" is nothing more than a generation monicker of most of the people that live in Florida that are not wearing wife beaters...Dude, the NIL money would flow if you played for the Sooners...there is a guy named "Booty" on our team that rarely sees the field, but there our 40 year old males wearing his jersey believing if they wear "Booty" they might actually get some...but you have talent and the name...thank your Dad and hit the transport portal and strike it rich, young man. If you need a lawyer, I know a good one.
3. To the wasted couple in front of me. If you want to drink 40 Bud Lights in a four hour period just hang in the Santee...you won't have to leave, but getting up every five minutes and apologizing claiming you have to go to the bathroom only makes us pity you more especially when you try to hide the beer in your see-through purse. I missed two failed field goals because you were in the way...think of others before you slush it out.
4. To the person that came up with Palace on the Prairie...admittedly, I thought it lame at first, but it has grown on me and now I have wrapped my arms around it completely. Now lets take that stupid chair someone bought at Mathis Brothers and spray painted gold and scrap it and find a good welder (or someone handy with a hot glue gun...any hobbyist can apply) and create a Game of Thrones chair, but instead of swords, lets take the helmets of defeated foes of the past with the Texas helmet glued crotch high... A chair like that is good for six five star signing a year...OU recruiting-no need to credit me with the idea, but it would be nice if you did.
5. To the ref that claimed he didn't see the UCF player blowing kisses running down the sideline, but threw a flag for excessive celebration after the play...If you didn't see the celebration how can you flag it...the whole football world believes you are an idiot. You cost us a goal line stand because of an emotional outburst by a linebacker snuffing out a third down play, but don't have the nads to call back a touchdown when a clown is blowing kisses to the Sooner bench...you should lose your license to throw a flag.
6. To Toby Keith...we need a song...this piped in BS needs to stop...for some reason an award winning classic song with the states name isn't good enough anymore (and OSU sings it...so there is that) and the band is too busy taking selfies and hamming it up for the video cam to play Boomer Sooner or drum line it...so come up with something...West Virginia has one, Alabama has one and OSU has a song from Garth about low places (appropriate), but we need a song...I will help you out...let the title be Oklahoma Grit...since I have done the hard part...you figure out the music and lyrics...deal?
7. To the team...last time we played the Jayhawks at 11 am we literally didn't wake up until around 2pm...I get it...it is Kansas, but they are actually playing football now instead of just cheating in basketball. I know they have a Chernobyl chicken as a mascot; waive wheat like OSU and have stupid cheers like Texas A&M, but we need to take them seriously because they have been holding back their starting quarterback just for us. So let's go kick their butts.
 
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