Sooner Forecast
This week I traveled deep into the heart of Texas, behind enemy lines. This is what I can report. I always believed it to be true, but now I know for certain, Texas most definitely SUCKS!! It’s time for the Red River to run Crimson again. The blood of the shorthorns will fill Dirty 6th like a Stephen King horror movie. RedRum RedRum, will be the chant of the RuffNecks as the Sooners show up to bring vengeance as judge, jury, and executioner of the overhyped Uterus team. Texas is back they say, because they beat the worst Alabama team in 15 years. Texas is back they say, because they beat the Sooners last year who were down to using their TE to run wildcat after TBOW either ran off or stole every blue chip QB on his way to the Austin of the West.
This year Dillon Gabriel isn’t in any concussion protocol and it will be the puke orange tea sipping liberals that will be left feeling more concussed than the day after a Trump victory.
The weather is going to have a cold front come down from the North and land in the Cotton Bowl just in time for an early kickoff. Frozen steaks will have to do and will taste plenty good once they come off the Sooner Schooner Chuckwagon grill!
The 2023 Sooners bring with them a second year coach, check, a left handed “overachieving” system QB, check, and and a defense that looked suspect for a half last week before looking dominant, check! The last time this happened was in the year 2000.
2000 + Jump Man 23 = 2023 victory.
You can’t argue with math!!
The Oklahoma winds are about to sweep right through the Fairgrounds and change the narrative about which team is Back!!
The line opened at UT -7 and rapidly moved to -5 even though the public is only at 21% for Oklahoma. That means big money and Sharps are taking the Sooners. Vegas knows!! My reconnaissance effort knows!! And now you all know!!
Sooners keep this one close into the 4th quarter and have less pressure on them. In 2000 it was Chrissie Simms… this time it will be Quinnie sEwers choking on his own stench from cuddling with Bevo. I wonder who will be answering questions for Quinnie now that Mack’s not around? In 2000 it was Rocky Calmus …this time Stutsman is the high school RB turned Butkus award chasing LB who will make life miserable as Danny boy plays in honor of the legend Dick…
The Sooners strike late to pull the upset bid leaving Poor Texas to wonder what went wrong once again.
Boomer - 34
Bevo - 31
No animals were physically harmed in the making of this forecast. Their feelings however were mutilated.
This week I traveled deep into the heart of Texas, behind enemy lines. This is what I can report. I always believed it to be true, but now I know for certain, Texas most definitely SUCKS!! It’s time for the Red River to run Crimson again. The blood of the shorthorns will fill Dirty 6th like a Stephen King horror movie. RedRum RedRum, will be the chant of the RuffNecks as the Sooners show up to bring vengeance as judge, jury, and executioner of the overhyped Uterus team. Texas is back they say, because they beat the worst Alabama team in 15 years. Texas is back they say, because they beat the Sooners last year who were down to using their TE to run wildcat after TBOW either ran off or stole every blue chip QB on his way to the Austin of the West.
This year Dillon Gabriel isn’t in any concussion protocol and it will be the puke orange tea sipping liberals that will be left feeling more concussed than the day after a Trump victory.
The weather is going to have a cold front come down from the North and land in the Cotton Bowl just in time for an early kickoff. Frozen steaks will have to do and will taste plenty good once they come off the Sooner Schooner Chuckwagon grill!
The 2023 Sooners bring with them a second year coach, check, a left handed “overachieving” system QB, check, and and a defense that looked suspect for a half last week before looking dominant, check! The last time this happened was in the year 2000.
2000 + Jump Man 23 = 2023 victory.
You can’t argue with math!!
The Oklahoma winds are about to sweep right through the Fairgrounds and change the narrative about which team is Back!!
The line opened at UT -7 and rapidly moved to -5 even though the public is only at 21% for Oklahoma. That means big money and Sharps are taking the Sooners. Vegas knows!! My reconnaissance effort knows!! And now you all know!!
Sooners keep this one close into the 4th quarter and have less pressure on them. In 2000 it was Chrissie Simms… this time it will be Quinnie sEwers choking on his own stench from cuddling with Bevo. I wonder who will be answering questions for Quinnie now that Mack’s not around? In 2000 it was Rocky Calmus …this time Stutsman is the high school RB turned Butkus award chasing LB who will make life miserable as Danny boy plays in honor of the legend Dick…
The Sooners strike late to pull the upset bid leaving Poor Texas to wonder what went wrong once again.
Boomer - 34
Bevo - 31
No animals were physically harmed in the making of this forecast. Their feelings however were mutilated.
